Teary eyes when listening to this.

Raihan - Doa Taubat

Dear Allah, i don't deserve to be in Your Heaven.. though, i'm not willing to face hellfire. please forgive all my sins and accept my repentance. as You are the forgiver of big sins.. my sins are like sands scattered along the beach. with Your power, please forgive me, my lord. Oh Allah, please safe us all, from all the wrongdoings and disasters. we are afraid, we really rely on You. strengthen our love towards You. we are Your servants who rely on Your mercy.

A Summary.

truth hurts, but lies are worse. however, sometimes, you are left with no choice but to lie to people over something so as to not hurt their feelings. and it hurts when the feelings of guilt kept haunting you with all the lies that you create.

yes, it does happen every day. and most of the time, without you realising it. 

if something's fated to happen the way you never expect it to be, do accept it with an open heart. 'cos eventually, something better will replace it.

and its just a matter of time. 

and when that day comes, you will get to know the reasons why it didn't happen like the way you want it to be.

some say forgiving people shows that you're weak. but no, it just shows that you're strong enough to fight all your ego.

 one day, you will find your soulmate, the one that is already destined to be with you.

Just let go.

one, i looked back and youre gone

two, what am i supposed to do

three,you want me to let you free

four, i know im such a bore

five,wanted to make you my wife

six, you are unlike other chicks

seven, you were my heaven

eight, but now its too late

nine,girl i hope that you are fine

this song i wrote to you

i hope you like it boo

the words, represents my love for you

you said "bye"

i said "no"

you said "baby let me go"

"take care"

two words from you

i didnt know, 

what was i supposed to do

baby just come back

baby just come back

baby just come back

baby just come back to me

i know you want me

you know i want you

i know you need me

girl i need you too my baby

ten days have passed

just remember 

babygirl, that you are

the best..

the best i ever had.....

Forever late.

believe it or not, i am punctual when it comes to work as compared to school. like seriously. when it comes to being late for school, im the number one student. for the past few days, i came late to school and also for my lecture class. even though im used to coming late for school during secondary school days, that panicky feeling has never fade. its still there and i guess, it will remain there. cant forget those times in secondary school days, sitting in front of the general office during recess and after school, serving my detention. well, look at the good side of it, thats one way to get fame yknow. the reasons for my lateness is myself. eh wait, i mean my itchy hands. i keep snoozing when the alarm rings. and when i finally realise that im gonna be late, then i wake up. gosh! thats one habit that should be thrown away.

as usual, i rushed to school. it feels kinda awkward entering the class when teacher already start the class. but again, thats when you get fame. 'cos my classmates tend to turn their head when theres a little bang sound of the door.

this week, practical was kinda slacking. its more to basic stuffs. and i really find it boring.

oh come on, i wanna some hands on please!

Still considering.

Many has left. More soon. i dont know whether should i be one of them or not. those bunch of friends there are the reasons for my survival, being there since last november. i thought i would only survive there for a month or so. but it turned out its already the fifth month. time flies really fast. Am still considering whether i should resign. Mom and dad kind of asking me to resign upon seeing me coming back home late and the next day morning left for school. they are scared that i may not cope with my studies. dont worry my dear parents. one of my life principle - studies comes first no matter what. i promise i will quit if really i cant cope. i promise. i promise i will study hard and get good results and make you proud of me. 'cos thats the least i can do to make you guys, my mommy and my daddy happy for now. 

and oh ya, dear that specific artist, by acting cool and being arrogant outside, you wont go far.

also, you are just creating a negative impression of yourself.

acting cool is so not cool alright?

i believe that im stronger than i was yesterday. 

Thats life.

life is always this way. when you want it, its not there. but when you think you dont need it anymore, it will come.

im just flesh and bones. im not superman nor superwoman. but i will always be the best i can.

dear paris, i shall visit you one day. 

Headache.

and so, i didnt come to work yesterday afternoon and today morning. for the past few days, this headache is really killing me. it randomly come and go. most of the time, what i felt was being poked by pins. super ouch. i just hope that this is something normal due to lack of sleep and overworked. hopefully its not anything serious. Amin.

A new life. The same old me.

you never know what future has in store for you! 

theres no need for you to wait.

Miracles happen everyday.

sometimes, i still cant believe that im already in poly. time really flies fast. it feels like o level just ended yesterday. today is already the fourth day of school. and i feel like dying already, schooling and working at the same time. sometimes i just feel like crying 'cos im too tired. im kinda stupid to work more than twenty hours. maybe its due to the fact that im used to work long hours when i was a full timer. working there is really tiring. that one i cant deny. its super damn tiring that i always look like a zombie when working. sometimes, the thought of quitting crossed my mind randomly. but a part of me just dont want to leave. the friendly environment there really divert my mind from telling myself to quit. seriously. all the fun people, they really make my day at work. with that zombie face of mine, i still can smile. when i look like as if im gonna faint, they are really super duper concern. they will give me an easier task. but theres some part of it which i dont like. and its the management. i miss that funny sugardaddy. stepdaddy is getting fiercer day by day. and that is super scary yknow. 

medicinal chemistry is a fun course. i can be like the csi people after getting my diploma doing forensics. but the lectures are really dry. most of the time i fall asleep. or is it im the one who doesnt get enough sleep the night before and end up sleeping in class because of that? i cant wait for practical next week. its not that im excited to wear the lab coats and goggles but i wanna do some hands on in that cool science lab. feeling feeling scientist for a while. heh. 

ever since school starts, my schedule is damn packed. very tight. im too busy to even clean my own room,  help my mommy with household chores and even think about guys. seriously. its been quite a while since i mention about bestfriend. seems like my bestfriend is leading a happy life now. i wish him last long with her. and pretty please, dont hurt her okay bestfriend? you will still be in my prayers. (:

have a nice weekend everyone. (;