Wonderwoman?

Did closing ystd and reached home almost at 1am. And today im on morning shift. Gotta get ready for work in half an hours' time. Yes im tired. Yes im sleepy. I've decided not to sleep 'cos i fear of waking up late. I truly know my dear self. When im too tired, its really hard for me to wake up. Even eight alarm clock of super duper irritating songs ringing every five minutes from 5am til 6plus wont be able to make me get out of bed. 

Im a good girl last night. teeheee!

Oh wells, im glad that i spent my "sleeping time" very wisely. For the past three hours, all i did was my homework and printing out cell biology notes. And now, im only left with maths for life sciences and scientific writing  e-learning. Shall do the remaining ones after work. 

Procrastinate now and you will suffer.

I shall not procrastinate my scientific writing assignments. Its due date is next two weeks. But i will try to get it done by this weekend. I wanna find time to study for my japanese exam. I only have less than two weeks to study all the words, vocab and sentence structure. Its difficult yknow. But no, i think i can do it.

Have a great weekend everyone! Hopefully i cant survive today without any sleep ystd. If not, ambulance, do come and fetch me immediately.

Weird.

This is not the usual me. No school this week and suddenly i feel like catching up all those that i missed out and i myself dont know why i feel like doing my homework and complete it early. I know i have been super weak and lazy for the past few weeks. I dont want that to continue. I really have to do well in my studies and make my parents happy. I dont wish to disappoint anyone by even by telling them i wanna quit school and all that craps that i created. I MUSNT quit school. Like what one of my colleague told me, i really need to slap myself and wake myself up and face reality. Yes, sometimes life is a little hard. All i need is some faith in myself to go through all life's obstacles. This is for my own future. Regretting later will be of no use. Yes, i really need to study hard from now onwards. I'll try my best to not be late for lectures and tutorials. I MUST sleep early and wake up early for school. I shall cut down my working hours. My working hours shall not exceed thirty hours. 

and most importantly, i shall not access facebook through laptop when i got home. such a big distraction and super strong addiction. 

tanpamu

Its just another random one.

Super random.

sentiasa menanti ketiabaanmu
sendiriku menagih nafas dirimu
namun kau memungkiri melangkah pergi
selama-lamanya..

wahai cinta dengarkanlah
rintihanku yang ku rasa
ku berserah tuk berpisah..

(chorus)
mampukah diriku menempuh segala untukmu
biar pun ku tersiksa menitis air mata
bawalah jiwaku agar ia di sisimu
cinta..

belahan jiwa ini tiada yang tahu
seribu janji-janji mengukir hidupku
relaku menunggumu walau bertahun
tuk kita bersama..

wahai cinta dengarkanlah
rintihanku yang ku rasa
ku berserah tuk berpisah..

(chorus)
mampukah diriku menempuh segala untukmu
biar pun ku tersiksa menitis air mata
bawalah jiwaku agar ia di sisimu
cinta..

Its been a while.

THOR
thumbs up for this movie!

Fat Girl Attitude.

YUMMMEHHH!
Sticky chewy chocolate & mint ice cream.
Hohoho! Fat fat fat!

well, we really had a hard time understanding the price
and choosing our food.

This two brothers really look like twins right?
Salihuddin & Sayyiduddin.
Thats what i thought on their first day of work.
Cool brothers! 

That girl in the centre?
Oh, thats Nabilah!
Omgosh, most of us just love to tease her.
She look like a decent innocent kind.
But when it comes to teasing people, oh my..
A cute friend though. (:

Haziq! Next person in the resignation list.
This Thursday marks his last day working there.
Gonna miss him.
I just love his mom's homemade bread. YUMMEH!

Crying is the best medicine?

i am so stressed! can i quit my job and quit school? yeah quit both. I need a break. i seriously got no life. dragging and rushing myself to school everyday, ended up late. late for class leads to getting lost halfway through the lesson. nothing goes inside my head. boring lectures makes me sleepy. after school, went straight to work. oh damn it, i really need a proper break and escape to somewhere for some period of time. i really really force myself to go to school everyday. everyday i bring such a heavy heart to school. i dont know exactly why im not looking forward for school like i used to back then. and about work, arghhhhhh! many are quitting. and i was thinking whether i should be next. the existing friends were the ones who make me stay in there for a much more longer period. if not for them, i guess, im already outta there few months back. such a tiring work. i wonder how the managers and team leaders could actually survive there for more than a year, when im already struggling, not even half a year. 

one by one signing resignation letter. seriously, its really sad to see one by one leaving. yeah, we can still go for outings together-gather but then without them at work, its not as cheerful as it used to be.  & the store is getting more and more quiet each day. :(

oh ya, i feel so touched that haziq remembered to bring for me his mom's home-made bread. but sadly, i started work much more later that the bread can no longer be eaten. seriously, really touched. i myself forget that i actually asked him to bring for me. you should try his mother's home-made bread. super duper yummeh-licious. i love the bread with the cheese inside. *drools* man! 

That shouldnt be the way!

i used to hope. but not anymore.

believe that good things will always come to those who wait.

will always try my best not to hurt others.

sometimes you just feel like crying some random time.

Unexpected things always happen and most of the time theres no signs to show that it is coming your way. I dare to swear that im just a step away to forgetting you completely. yes, just one step away only. and completely. i have let go of everything and already accept everything with an open heart. but why am i shivering so badly when i saw your name on my notification? why am i feeling like this?! this shouldnt be the way. and i really hate to feel this way. i had a hard time typing this out and also replying to your comments that i feel like breaking down into tears. but no, im strong. anyway bestfriend, i did prayed hard that you would get into the police force for your ns. im sincere in my prayers. really. only Allah knows how sincere i am in every of my prayers that i mention you in it. every single one. i truly know that you wanted police but it seems that Allah know that it would be far far more better if you're in the army. and there you go, you get army. And so in two months time, you will be serving your ns. its during the fasting month right? hope you will enjoy your ns. do take care. 

A weird owl.

Sleepy owl.

Yes, i got this owl attitude. i love staying up late at night. No matter how sleepy i am at night, i am more active than i am in the morning. I really need to do something and adjust my sleeping pattern. I am so used to staying up late and go to bed when my sister's alarm rings. Most of the time, i had less than 5 hours of sleep. And the next morning, i will look like a zombie at work/school. Lately, i've been late for my classes and work due to waking up late. As much as i dont like rushing, i will end up rushing. and thats when i become a flash. super duper fast! if you're lucky enough, you can see me in action one day. and now im totally broke. i borrowed mommy fifty bucks a few days ago and now im left with a few cents. and 65% of it was spent on cab fare. Luckily its not during peak hours. if not, the fare would be double! for two days straight, i cabbed to work. in total, thirty bucks. Man! that thirty bucks is so equivalent to 5 double McSpicy meal during lunch time. FIVE McSpicy is a lot yknow! Shall sleep a lil early today and hopefully i can wake up early tomorrow. Dear itchy hands, please do not snooze. Dear soul, please come back when its time for me to wake up and please dont wander too far. 

Happy Labour Day!

okay, so much of labour day. i need to work.

The Past.

This is random. Just read my old posts from my old blog. Well, that blog is meant to be my past too, i guess.  Whatever it is, im glad that the past has stopped haunting me. Like i always said, i learnt a lot from the past. Now that i really can accept it and let go of everything, i feel so much better. But i can deny that at some random time, i miss him. Its like suddenly he cross my mind and thats when i start to think about all the short memories and hurt. But no, i dont drag. All i know that he's happy with her now, and im really glad and am happy for him too. And again, its never a regret for every steps that i have made in the past. 

Teary eyes when listening to this.

Raihan - Doa Taubat

Dear Allah, i don't deserve to be in Your Heaven.. though, i'm not willing to face hellfire. please forgive all my sins and accept my repentance. as You are the forgiver of big sins.. my sins are like sands scattered along the beach. with Your power, please forgive me, my lord. Oh Allah, please safe us all, from all the wrongdoings and disasters. we are afraid, we really rely on You. strengthen our love towards You. we are Your servants who rely on Your mercy.

A Summary.

truth hurts, but lies are worse. however, sometimes, you are left with no choice but to lie to people over something so as to not hurt their feelings. and it hurts when the feelings of guilt kept haunting you with all the lies that you create.

yes, it does happen every day. and most of the time, without you realising it. 

if something's fated to happen the way you never expect it to be, do accept it with an open heart. 'cos eventually, something better will replace it.

and its just a matter of time. 

and when that day comes, you will get to know the reasons why it didn't happen like the way you want it to be.

some say forgiving people shows that you're weak. but no, it just shows that you're strong enough to fight all your ego.

 one day, you will find your soulmate, the one that is already destined to be with you.

Just let go.

one, i looked back and youre gone

two, what am i supposed to do

three,you want me to let you free

four, i know im such a bore

five,wanted to make you my wife

six, you are unlike other chicks

seven, you were my heaven

eight, but now its too late

nine,girl i hope that you are fine

this song i wrote to you

i hope you like it boo

the words, represents my love for you

you said "bye"

i said "no"

you said "baby let me go"

"take care"

two words from you

i didnt know, 

what was i supposed to do

baby just come back

baby just come back

baby just come back

baby just come back to me

i know you want me

you know i want you

i know you need me

girl i need you too my baby

ten days have passed

just remember 

babygirl, that you are

the best..

the best i ever had.....

Forever late.

believe it or not, i am punctual when it comes to work as compared to school. like seriously. when it comes to being late for school, im the number one student. for the past few days, i came late to school and also for my lecture class. even though im used to coming late for school during secondary school days, that panicky feeling has never fade. its still there and i guess, it will remain there. cant forget those times in secondary school days, sitting in front of the general office during recess and after school, serving my detention. well, look at the good side of it, thats one way to get fame yknow. the reasons for my lateness is myself. eh wait, i mean my itchy hands. i keep snoozing when the alarm rings. and when i finally realise that im gonna be late, then i wake up. gosh! thats one habit that should be thrown away.

as usual, i rushed to school. it feels kinda awkward entering the class when teacher already start the class. but again, thats when you get fame. 'cos my classmates tend to turn their head when theres a little bang sound of the door.

this week, practical was kinda slacking. its more to basic stuffs. and i really find it boring.

oh come on, i wanna some hands on please!

Still considering.

Many has left. More soon. i dont know whether should i be one of them or not. those bunch of friends there are the reasons for my survival, being there since last november. i thought i would only survive there for a month or so. but it turned out its already the fifth month. time flies really fast. Am still considering whether i should resign. Mom and dad kind of asking me to resign upon seeing me coming back home late and the next day morning left for school. they are scared that i may not cope with my studies. dont worry my dear parents. one of my life principle - studies comes first no matter what. i promise i will quit if really i cant cope. i promise. i promise i will study hard and get good results and make you proud of me. 'cos thats the least i can do to make you guys, my mommy and my daddy happy for now. 

and oh ya, dear that specific artist, by acting cool and being arrogant outside, you wont go far.

also, you are just creating a negative impression of yourself.

acting cool is so not cool alright?

i believe that im stronger than i was yesterday. 

Thats life.

life is always this way. when you want it, its not there. but when you think you dont need it anymore, it will come.

im just flesh and bones. im not superman nor superwoman. but i will always be the best i can.

dear paris, i shall visit you one day. 

Headache.

and so, i didnt come to work yesterday afternoon and today morning. for the past few days, this headache is really killing me. it randomly come and go. most of the time, what i felt was being poked by pins. super ouch. i just hope that this is something normal due to lack of sleep and overworked. hopefully its not anything serious. Amin.

A new life. The same old me.

you never know what future has in store for you! 

theres no need for you to wait.

Miracles happen everyday.

sometimes, i still cant believe that im already in poly. time really flies fast. it feels like o level just ended yesterday. today is already the fourth day of school. and i feel like dying already, schooling and working at the same time. sometimes i just feel like crying 'cos im too tired. im kinda stupid to work more than twenty hours. maybe its due to the fact that im used to work long hours when i was a full timer. working there is really tiring. that one i cant deny. its super damn tiring that i always look like a zombie when working. sometimes, the thought of quitting crossed my mind randomly. but a part of me just dont want to leave. the friendly environment there really divert my mind from telling myself to quit. seriously. all the fun people, they really make my day at work. with that zombie face of mine, i still can smile. when i look like as if im gonna faint, they are really super duper concern. they will give me an easier task. but theres some part of it which i dont like. and its the management. i miss that funny sugardaddy. stepdaddy is getting fiercer day by day. and that is super scary yknow. 

medicinal chemistry is a fun course. i can be like the csi people after getting my diploma doing forensics. but the lectures are really dry. most of the time i fall asleep. or is it im the one who doesnt get enough sleep the night before and end up sleeping in class because of that? i cant wait for practical next week. its not that im excited to wear the lab coats and goggles but i wanna do some hands on in that cool science lab. feeling feeling scientist for a while. heh. 

ever since school starts, my schedule is damn packed. very tight. im too busy to even clean my own room,  help my mommy with household chores and even think about guys. seriously. its been quite a while since i mention about bestfriend. seems like my bestfriend is leading a happy life now. i wish him last long with her. and pretty please, dont hurt her okay bestfriend? you will still be in my prayers. (:

have a nice weekend everyone. (;